CALLING the CRITICS…beginning of My Book; Looking for Harsh but Honest Criticizm?
Question by Kristopher L: CALLING THE CRITICS…beginning of my book; looking for harsh but honest criticizm?
***just so you know, the sentences are supposed to be a little choppy, the girl just watched her mother kill her twin brother and she’s not so…sane
The room was dark. We sat in a circle. Luckily the chairs were comfortable. I looked at the door hoping my dad would have gone home. He was still there. The instructor asked me to introduce myself.
“Okay.” I cleared my throat, “Um, I’m Erie…Iradessa; and my twin brother, Jackson, was murdered by our mother.”
I swallowed hard not understanding how in the world I forced the words out. I glared at the door and saw my dad smiling.
“Hi Erie. Welcome.” The instructor smiled, “Now, starting with Kyle, please introduce yourselves to Erie.”
Kyle started, I focused on his hands. They trembled into a fist every time he talked about his parents. They had gotten divorced just two years ago and he got stuck in the middle.
Besides me and Kyle there were five other people in the crisis group. There was Sam and Alex who both were from Detroit and had moved to try and overcome their drug addictions. Then there was Molly and Amber, whose parents abandoned them. They’ve been coming to this crisis group since they were three. And last, Erika, sat next to me, she had just been diagnosed with cancer. Everyone in that room had been admitted into the third floor of the Marquette Hospital. The floor for crazies and crack heads, but we all had something in common. We wanted out. We wanted out of life and the situation we were in.
The instructor stood up out of his seat and began talking directly to me because I was the only new person there. “Now, Erie, the first step is to realize why you’re here. So why did you come to this crisis group?”
“My therapist made me.” I mumbled under my breath.
‘What was that?”
“My therapist made me come here.” I said a little louder.
“No, nobody made you come; you came because you wanted help.”
“Whatever, I don’t even want to be here.”
“Then leave.”
I stood up to meet his level, “You don’t think I would if I could!?! My dad, a.k.a, my therapist is standing outside that door right now just waiting for me to leave so he can bring me back and handcuff me to you! I want to leave, I don’t want to be here, I want to be at home, sitting in my brother’s room, listening to him play guitar, but because my mom decided to kill him, I can’t do that!”
“I’m sorry about your brother, but you need to sit down, and calm down, and breathe.”
Best answer:
Answer by sakura avalon
i like it! i honestly would probably buy it, sorry i cant think of any criticism 🙂
What do you think? Answer below!
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